Salam Lovelies,
This month, I don't remember the day.. is my Conversion Anniversary I think it was mid May.. I feel I converted earlier, in September 2009; but it was in May 2010 I actually made my Shahadah official, by researching what I had to do/say.. but even then I didn't say my shahadah in front of anybody until April 2013.. Lol confusing much?!
But many Muslims ask me my story of how I found Islam and became a Muslim and I honestly just say oh its just really boring, I met & married a Muslim guy, then after a few years I converted. End of story there we go.. But I guess when I reflect my story does start earlier..
I was born into a Christian family, my dad converted in his early 20's, I think when he was engaged to my mum and my mum converted not long after. My parents were really quite strict so raised us in a very christian environment.. They were kinda extreme, it was like no reading about other religions, no violence, horror,sex, ghosts, etc no watching certain TV shows, no incense burning... They are pentecostal christians.. I remember being a teenager and asking to go to another church, they wouldn't allow that let alone explore other beliefs.. So I guess I was raised in a very sheltered way.
You know, Islam & Muslims were something I never really encountered growing up, i can actually count my experiences.. there was a girl who wore hijab in my high school.. 1 girl among 800.. I'm embarrassed to say the 9/11 event had very little impact on us in little Dunedin/Nz.. I had a friend who had a crush on some prince/king of Jordan, my brother had an Iraqi flatmate named Sadagh (who used to joke about cutting him up into pieces lol oh dear). Oh there would of been news media as well but up until about age 18, I was quite literally ignorant to Muslims & Islam. When i was at uni i started a paper "Muslims, terrorism & the west" or something like that i sat in 2 lectures then dropped out.. Oh actually in Australia I briefly dated an Arab guy, from UAE.. He was very sweet and very generous with his money, but there was never any mention of religion.. He was probably Muslim lol.. See I was so ignorant! I had no idea what they believed or even how to identify one..
Fast forward a few years and I met the Mr online.. We both lived in Brisbane and spoke I think once.. He did however make an impact on me.. He was so polite and would talk about family, he genuinely cared so it seemed and we were engaged within a week, married within 6 weeks.. I fell hard and i guess being young jumped into marriage without research or questions.. Honestly we didn't really discuss Islam, I knew he went to Mosque on Fridays and that sometimes he prayed, he didn't eat bacon and when he used the bathroom water would be everywhere oh and we now had watering cans beside the toilet.
Leading up to our wedding Mr would ask are you ready? I'd be thinking for marriage? And respond positively.. I didn't realise he was asking me to convert.. So anyways on the day we were married 2 of my husbands friends and a non English speaking imam came to our flat, they were talking, one of the men was trying to translate I remember there being mention of a story about a mother who wasn't a Muslim. It was honestly confusing & scary, I remember being asked do you want to convert.. My question was do I need to wear the scarf they all said yes so I declined,. I did however agree to read the Qu'ran, well an English copy.
The next few months I did read the Qu'ran, I found it interesting and my expectations of a book full of violence didn't come true, in fact the language was beautiful and peaceful, I also read some books from the library and I'd read online articles when I could, I also tried to reach out but didn't have much success.. I fell pregnant and I remember thinking we would raise baby as a Muslim, but not being sure how to do that.. I fasted with my Mr during Ramadan, well attempted to but having morning sickness it wasn't successful.
We moved to Nz to have baby in January 2009, I still wasn't Muslim and I was just busy with a newborn, but I started to have curiosity again and sent an email to the local Masjid and then a woman's coordinator of the Student Muslim association, a sister did get in touch and we met and she invited me to Masjid, it was Ramadan. My first experience with Muslims was breaking the fast and praying night prayers.. I wasn't quite a Muslim yet but I felt peace and I decided yes I want to be a Muslim. However the Mr moved away and my family not happy with my decision discouraged me to follow Islam..
I moved to Christchurch to the Mr and in May 2010 I converted by finding out how to online, I started wearing hijab, probably just a tad too early.. I was very blessed and had a Muslim sister from Pakistan, teach me the Surahs and routines for prayer and we would pray together.
Mr wouldn't let me go to Masjid so I found my support online, on Facebook and forums, I would read books, taught myself to pray, I only ever visited the masjid a few times during Ramadan. I say I faked it until I learnt what I needed but I continued to slowly learn and grow..
Honestly when I converted I didn't practise and barely prayed, I ate halal, wore hijab, read Qu'ran, it took me a few years to actually really practise what was preached so to say, I also had to spend some time unlearning the christian beliefs that clashed with Islam, the stories I was taught growing up but were corrected in Qu'ran. (The Qu'ran is the final & true book not like the Bible which may have been/probably has been corrupted). I had to learn how to pray like a Muslim not like a Christian. But in time the Islamic way became the most natural way.
I never found actual support from Muslims or the Muslim community in person, there were no classes, no support groups, no Arabic classes.. But I guess that's how it is when the community's are so small, and at times broken. Also when the community's you do become involved in put so much emphasis on culture than what Islam truly teaches. But saying that I have met some beautiful Muslim brothers & sisters in person and online who have influenced me through their actions and gentle & kind speech.
So I guess that comes to my online support, as many know the internet can be a place where many hide behind their keyboards passing judgement or giving misguided or unwise advice.. And its hard when that is your only connection with Muslims/Islam.. Fb can be the worst but it can also be the place I receive guidance and support from fellow reverts all over the world.. Alhumdililah isn't that actually beautiful?!
Life is a journey , Islam is a path and Jannah, inshaaAllah is my destination. I only hope I please Allah in my actions, words and lifestyle. My story will only continue..
Much love
Jenn
Xx
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