My journey.. Why I chose Islam & Why I stuck with it...

Salam Lovelies,

This month, I don't remember the day.. is my Conversion Anniversary I think it was mid May.. I feel I converted earlier, in September 2009; but it was in May 2010 I actually made my Shahadah official, by researching what I had to do/say.. but even then I didn't say my shahadah in front of anybody until April 2013.. Lol confusing much?!

But many Muslims ask me my story of how I found Islam and became a Muslim and I honestly just say oh its just really boring, I met & married a Muslim guy, then after a few years I converted. End of story there we go.. But I guess when I reflect my story does start earlier..

I was born into a Christian family, my dad converted in his early 20's, I think when he was engaged to my mum and my mum converted not long after. My parents were really quite strict so raised us in a very christian environment.. They were kinda extreme, it was like no reading about other religions, no violence, horror,sex, ghosts, etc no watching certain TV shows, no incense burning... They are pentecostal christians.. I remember being a teenager and asking to go to another church, they wouldn't allow that let alone explore other beliefs.. So I guess I was raised in a very sheltered way.

You know, Islam & Muslims were something I never really encountered growing up, i can actually count my experiences.. there was a girl who wore hijab in my high school.. 1 girl among 800.. I'm embarrassed to say the 9/11 event had very little impact on us in little Dunedin/Nz.. I had a friend who had a crush on some prince/king of Jordan, my brother had an Iraqi flatmate named Sadagh (who used to joke about cutting him up into pieces lol oh dear). Oh there would of been news media as well but up until about age 18, I was quite literally ignorant to Muslims & Islam. When i was at uni i started a paper "Muslims, terrorism & the west" or something like that i sat in 2 lectures then dropped out.. Oh actually in Australia I briefly dated an Arab guy, from UAE.. He was very sweet and very generous with his money, but there was never any mention of religion.. He was probably Muslim lol.. See I was so ignorant!  I had no idea what they believed or even how to identify one..

Fast forward a few years and I met the Mr online.. We both lived in Brisbane and spoke I think once.. He did however make an impact on me.. He was so polite and would talk about family, he genuinely cared so it seemed and we were engaged within a week, married within 6 weeks.. I fell hard and i guess being young jumped into marriage without research or questions.. Honestly we didn't really discuss Islam, I knew he went to Mosque on Fridays and that sometimes he prayed, he didn't eat bacon and when he used the bathroom water would be everywhere oh and we now had watering cans beside the toilet.

Leading up to our wedding Mr would ask are you ready? I'd be thinking for marriage? And respond positively.. I didn't realise he was asking me to convert.. So anyways on the day we were married 2 of my husbands friends and a non English speaking imam came to our flat, they were talking, one of the men was trying to translate I remember there being mention of a story about a mother who wasn't a Muslim. It was honestly confusing & scary, I remember being asked do you want to convert.. My question was do I need to wear the scarf they all said yes so I declined,. I did however agree to read the Qu'ran, well an English copy.

The next few months I did read the Qu'ran, I found it interesting and my expectations of a book full of violence didn't come true, in fact the language was beautiful and peaceful,  I also read some books from the library and I'd read online articles when I could, I also tried to reach out but didn't have much success.. I fell pregnant and I remember thinking we would raise baby as a Muslim, but not being sure how to do that.. I fasted with my Mr during Ramadan, well attempted to but having morning sickness it wasn't successful.

We moved to Nz to have baby in January 2009, I still wasn't Muslim and I was just busy with a newborn, but I started to have curiosity again and sent an email to the local Masjid and then a woman's coordinator of the Student Muslim association, a sister did get in touch and we met and she invited me to Masjid, it was Ramadan. My first experience with Muslims was breaking the fast and praying night prayers.. I wasn't quite a Muslim yet but I felt peace and I decided yes I want to be a Muslim. However the Mr moved away and my family not happy with my decision discouraged me to follow Islam..

I moved to Christchurch to the Mr and in May 2010 I converted by finding out how to online, I started wearing hijab, probably just a tad too early.. I was very blessed and had a Muslim sister from Pakistan, teach me the Surahs and routines for prayer and we would pray together.
Mr wouldn't let me go to Masjid so I found my support online, on Facebook and forums, I would read books, taught myself to pray, I only ever visited the masjid a few times during Ramadan. I say I faked it until I learnt what I needed but I continued to slowly learn and grow..

Honestly when I converted I didn't practise and barely prayed, I ate halal, wore hijab, read Qu'ran, it took me a few years to actually really practise what was preached so to say, I also had to spend some time unlearning the christian beliefs that clashed with Islam, the stories I was taught growing up but were corrected in Qu'ran. (The Qu'ran is the final & true book not like the Bible which may have been/probably has been corrupted). I had to learn how to pray like a Muslim not like a Christian. But in time the Islamic way became the most natural way.

I never found actual support from Muslims or the Muslim community in person, there were no classes, no support groups, no Arabic classes.. But I guess that's how it is when the community's are so small, and at times broken. Also when the community's you do become involved in put so much emphasis on culture than what Islam truly teaches. But saying that I have met some beautiful Muslim brothers & sisters in person and online who have influenced me through their actions and gentle & kind speech.

So I guess that comes to my online support, as many know the internet can be a place where many hide behind their keyboards passing judgement or giving misguided or unwise advice.. And its hard when that is your only connection with Muslims/Islam..  Fb can be the worst but it can also be the place I receive guidance and support from fellow reverts all over the world.. Alhumdililah isn't that actually beautiful?!

Life is a journey , Islam is a path and Jannah, inshaaAllah is my destination. I only hope I please Allah in my actions, words and lifestyle. My story will only continue..

Much love

Jenn
Xx

Aysha's Ramadan Planning..

Salams my friends,

Ramadan, (a month where Muslims fast from food, drink and focus on spiritual reflection) is only a matter of months away, estimated to start in the last week of June.. Depending of course on the moon being sighted.

I decided to be organised this year and I was hoping to make this years Ramadan special & memorable for Aysha, as she's a bit older this year and I feel I need to make more effort in showing her how awesome Muslim holidays can be.

As a revert Muslim holidays can be lonely and it can be hard for our kiddies living in a country/environment where Christmas,Easter, Valentines Day, etc are given advertising, exposure & everyone around is excited for this event you know you can't be a part of.

Obviously Aysha is too young for fasting, but I can still use Ramadan as an opportunity to teach her about it, and other aspects of Islam.

I've been doing some researching and brainstorming,  seeking here & there for ideas on what we can do during Ramadan.. I was looking for craft ideas, charity ideas (that are age appropriate) and decorating ideas to give our home a special Ramadan feel. I found these ideas from pinterest, xmas ideas I adapted, inspiration from etsy, and Google which directed us to other sites & blogs.. I'm so sorry because I didn't write where I found ideas just the ideas themselves so please forgive me if I have "stolen" an original idea.

So... In no particular order.. Ramadan Activities: 

• Decorate for Ramadan - Make a "Ramadan Mubarak" Banner, put up fairy lights & balloons, perhaps a crescent moon cutout, glow in the dark stickers/stars (Aysha loves those).. I want to make our environment special & different than it normally is... Bring a Ramadan warmth. 
• Moon themed activity.. "M" is for Moon, since Ayshie is still learning her letters. Also focus on the phases of the moon, use tinfoil or paperplates (cut into moon shapes - circle/full, half, crescent, etc). 
• Make Ramadan cards or write on pre-purchased cards, send them.
• Mosaic Masjid sun catcher (using cellopane & card) or PVA & puffy paint window clings. 
• Use "Sharpie" markers to draw on/decorate a (porcelain) plate or bowl. (Let it dry bake at 350° for 30 minutes).. If this doesn't go well plan B is to goshopping for a special bowl/plate to use for iftars/suhoors.. Hopefully one that will last many Ramadans.. Or we can start a new Ramadan tradition. 
• Make a paper lantern - a fanoos more likely a Chinese lantern.. 
• "Henna Hands", I saw this on the Crayola website, was thinking to either trace Aysha's hands then use markers to draw henna designs on them or use the pre-cut hands I already have in our craft box.
• Actually doing actual henna would be fun too but I think Aysha is still a tad young for that. 
• Cook a themed iftar.. Make something Aysha already has experience in, scrambled eggs, pizza dough, fruit salad, French toast.. I would love to do some "Muslim" country themed dinners too, such as biryani for Pakistan or Egyptian or Malaysian food. 
• Plan then have an iftar picnic.. I want to take her at least once to break fast at Masjid.
• Make cupcakes or special cookies for her class.. I was thinking making "stained glass" cookies where you crush up hard boiled candies and bake them in the middle of a cookie border. 
• Use fabric paints/pens to decorate a pillowcase as a "prayer rug"
• Ramadan book day - spend time reading our Ramadan themed books then make a book, get Aysha to tell me a story that I will write out, she can then draw pictures & we'll staple the pages together.
• Decorate a cardboard box as a Sadaqa box- fill it up with preloved clothes and toys, donate to a charity or family. Maybe do a food parcel too. 
• Plant a small tree - native or fruit tree. Plant some seeds in the garden or a pot. 
• "Build a Masjid" use a piece of card for example a cereal box piece, stick or draw a masjid and cut into pieces for a puzzle, build a block masjid or play dough.. We made a felt masjid puzzle of An-nur Masjid in Christchurch last year. 
• Make felt or card magnets - crescent moon, tiny masjid or hijabi. 
• Make a bird feeder, from a milk bottle or from a pinecone with peanut butter & birdseed.
• Learn about another Muslim country/cuture or how they celebrate Ramadan & Eid around the world.
• Make "Eid Mubarek" cards, be sure to send them early so they arrive on time. 
• Make something small to give as an Eid gift for classmates - maybe a food item or crayons upcycled (was thinking crayons melted into shaped tins.. Stars or hearts perhaps).
• I was thinking of teaching Aysha some dua or Ayahs about fasting, thankfulness to Allah lessons, and using the activity books we already have.
• YouTube movie night, make some popcorn and watch some Islamic themed or Muslim friendly cartoons/clips. 
• Shop for Eid clothes/shoes.. Let Aysha pick a special treat or toy  for Eid. 
• Make a string of prayer beads. 
• Decorate for Eid, more balloons, more sparkly decorations.. 
• Bake & Make special foods for Eid.

Those are my ideas so far, I may do them all or just a few but leaving our schedule open & flexible. Just hopeful that Aysha will enjoy Ramadan this year.. I would love to have an enjoyable Ramadan/Eid this year and not be depressed or feel lonely.. My plans are to keep my fasts, spend more time in prayer & remembrance of Allah, read more Qu'ran, memorise some dua and verses. InshaaAllah.

Much love.

Xx

Introduction..

Asalam Alikuym (Peace be upon you),

I thought I'd start (another) blog on being a New Zealander Convert to Islam & raising my Kiwi Muslim daughter and our life on a different platform, I was thinking this could be my random thoughts blog/ lifestyle & the other more our day to day stuff but I'll just go with the flow I guess.

So I guess I shall introduce myself, I'm Jenn, a New Zealander, as NZ paperwork would suggest: New Zealand European. (That basically just means my ancestors came from England/Scotland/Etc). I'm in my late 20's. I was raised a Christian, along with my five other siblings, But converted to Islam after I met my Pakistani Husband. I have one daughter, a gorgeous, cheeky 5 year old, and a cat. We live in a small coastal city, Dunedin known for its harbour & University... I think, I was born & raised here so I'm not exactly sure what we're "famous" for. I have also lived in Australia, & we lived in Christchurch during those tough Earthquake & the aftermath years.

I'm not currently working, infact I'm still completely unsure what I want to pursue in life & that's been hard.. But I love writing so for now that's what I shall do.. I have a journalism diploma & half of a communications degree from Uni but that's from before marriage & child days so I'm sure my writing & grammar won't exactly be up to scratch. (It was broadcast journalism so I'm more likely to write how I would speak, rather than an academic or newspaper reporting way).

So I guess writing is an interest, as is spending time with and looking after my family, photography (I'm a beginer), languages, books & reading, living a natural & healthy conciuos lifestyle, shopping!! And so much more!!

14 Random (And hopefully Interesting) Facts about Me: 

1. As a child I loved animals & My dream was to become a Vet (Animal Dr), So I spent hours upon hours learning about animals. I now have a random encyclopedia of dog, cat, horse & sheep breeds in my head, can't say its been very useful but it can be fun for conversation I guess .. And if I ever entered a game show where the questions were animals i'm pretty sure I'd win.. He he..
2. I am a bookaholic, I love to read, buy & collect books about every and any topic that interests me, children's books, novels, & ebooks (oh how I love kindle). 
3. Speaking of holics, I'm a bargainholic shopaholic.. I just love op shopping (thrift shopping for those Americans among us), online shopping, trademe & ebay well I guess I just love shopping.
4. We own a cat named Sinker. He was my daughters 4th birthday present from her Aunties & Cousins on their return from an Island holiday, so hence his very interesting name. Funnily enough Aysha is still convinced her cat is from Fiji. 
5. I love Disney! Especially their animated films, Mickey & Minnie & the rest of the gang.. It makes me happy.. I love their happily ever afters.. I dream to one day take Aysha to Disneyland/World.
6. My dream job would be a midwife or doula, I'm passionate about natural birth and I still kinda regret I didn't get a home birth with Aysha but I honestly would love to have that role of assisting women in their mothering journeys. 
7. Speaking of babies, I would still love to have more.. Maybe 3 more :-)  but Allah knows best.
8. I would really love to be more creative/artistic. (I will work on that).
9. I have a scar on my lip from when I fell down a bank as a toddler. I don't even remember the event.
10. My favourite colour is purple, but my wardrobe is mostly black.
11. I love my family..Aysha, my daughter, is my world. I love her more than anything, and she doesn't realise it but she's the glue that has held me together through so many of my trials.
12. I have depression, I manage it but sometimes I have my lows, depression will be one of my lifelong tests. 
13. I am a convert to Islam so I'm a Muslim but I enjoy learning about other peoples religions, and their life views.. I also enjoy studying other cultures and costums, languages, and about the world we live in.
14. I am trying to live a much more natural lifestyle, in medicine, food (I'm vegetarian) and how I impact the environment in my choices and actions.

So I hope I have painted a picture of who I am and our little life, really looking forward to writing more. 

Much love 

Jenn

Xx